01:20:33 GRAPHICS ON SCREEN
The following program contains content which is sexual in nature. It is not intended that any viewer rely on the content of the program for medical advice. If you believe you require medical or psychological advice or treatment, please consult your doctor.

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Berman & Berman For Women Only

01:20:42 Female Voice #1 VO
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Berman & Berman

What do you really…

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<obscured> babies, a career or both?

… want, babies or career or both?

01:20:46 Female with Brown Vest OC
I don't want children. I'm not… I'm not a mother. I'm not… I'm not mother material. So therefore that leaves career, because I'm self-supporting.

01:20:54 Female with white Turtleneck OC
I would say career, because there's a lot of things that need to be focused on in society.

01:20:59 Female with long brown hair and Glasses OC
Both. I plan one day when I get married and plan to have children to have my children very close to each other and stay home for the duration until they're in kindergarten.

01:21:16 Dr. Laura Berman VO/OC
It's amazing how well planned some women have it.

01:21:18 Dr. Jennifer Berman OC
Stay home… I'm gonna stay home to have a baby. Stay home until kindergarten. I mean in a way you kind of have to be that way to do it all.

01:21:23 Dr. Laura Berman OC
Right. Right. But Lord help you if it doesn't work out.

01:21:26 Dr. Jennifer Berman OC
Then what, crisis?

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Drs. Jennifer & Laura Berman

Welcome back. Our topic, Babies versus Career.

01:21:31 Dr. Laura Berman OC/VO
With us again, the founders of Simply She and authors…

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Berman & Berman

… of Are You My Boyfriend?. Megan Weinerman and Maria Peevey. Let's talk about men. And we were looking at… we love this book. It's hilarious, but you've dated… we've decided that you've dated almost every one of these guys.

01:21:45 Dr. Jennifer Berman OC/VO
I have dated every one. It's called Are You My Boyfriend?

01:21:47 Dr. Laura Berman OC
She was looking through them and she was saying, "This is John. This is Peter. This is…" she was naming.

01:21:51 Dr. Jennifer Berman OC/VO
And there's a couple more that you haven't put in there that I've also dated.

01:21:55 Dr. Laura Berman OC
What inspired you to write this book?

01:21:58 Maria Peevey OC/VO
Going through that break-up and having been with someone for six years and trying to get back out into the dating community, yeah, it's a bit… it's a bit rough. And so we wanted to chronicle the universal ups and downs so that women could have a sense of humor when they're going through the process.

01:22:14 Dr. Jennifer Berman VO/OC
And it helps you to go… even just probably writing the book was a…

01:22:18 Maria Peevey VO
Cathartic.

01:22:18 Dr. Jennifer Berman OC
… a cathartic.

01:22:19 Megan Weinerman OC
Because dating is a career.

01:22:21 Maria Peevey OC/VO
Absolutely. No, really it's a process that you need to go through and you really have to have a good sense of self and self-esteem in order to get through it.

01:22:30 Megan Weinerman VO/OC
I think the thing that we also talk about is that the great thing about dating is not only do you learn about what kind of man you really want in the end, you learn so much more about yourself.

01:22:39 Dr. Laura Berman VO/OC
Right. Yeah. How quickly do you know, like when you guys are dating now that you've been doing this, how quickly do you characterize one of the guys?

01:22:46 Megan Weinerman OC
It depends on who you're talking to.

01:22:48 Maria Peevey OC
I… I tend to be the person, at this point I know exactly what I want, and so after the first date I pretty much know if there's gonna be a second date.

01:22:56 Dr. Laura Berman VO
That's how I was.

01:22:58 Maria Peevey OC
Why waste our time? We're working hard, you know.

01:23:00 Dr. Jennifer Berman VO
Time is precious.

01:23:02 Maria Peevey OC
It's precious. That's not to say they're not an interesting person, there's not something invaluable you know about being a friend with somebody later on, but…Megan has a little bit of a different opinion on that.

01:23:10 Dr. Jennifer Berman VO
What's Megan's opinion?

01:23:11 Megan Weinerman VO/OC
I'm a little bit more laid back. I'm willing to you know…

01:23:14 Dr. Jennifer Berman VO
Endure the pain.

01:23:17 Dr. Laura Berman VO/OC
Give them the benefit of the doubt and see if they shape into another type or…

01:23:20 Megan Weinerman VO/OC
No, I'm a little more lighthearted. I just take it for what it is. It's a date to go out. Yeah, somebody buy me my dinner.

01:23:23 Dr. Jennifer Berman VO
Date to go out.

01:23:27 Maria Peevey OC
She gets some pretty flowers in the process.

01:23:29 Dr. Laura Berman OC/VO
Yeah. Yeah. Well, when I was… I mean when I was single and I was a single mother, I had a… he was two and a half when I got divorced, and once I started dating, first I was surprised. I really wasn't expecting so many nice guys. And I really met a lot of nice ones. But in part it wasn't so much that I felt like I'm in a hurry and I was wasting time, but I was really protective of him and…

01:23:48 Maria Peevey OC
Sure.

01:23:48 Dr. Laura Berman VO/OC
… my time with him. So there were a lot of really nice men, but I would weed them out very quickly. I knew what I was looking for. And I knew the minute I met my… not the minute I met him, but our first date, I knew. Right. And I… and I don't think enough women… I used to think that women who said that were co-dependent freaks, you know when you know, you just know. And I didn't… I didn't know in my first marriage, I didn't in retrospect I was in love, but I didn't have that feeling that I knew.

01:24:15 Maria Peevey OC/VO
Do you think that's because the second time around you knew…

01:24:17 Dr. Laura Berman VO
I knew who I was.

01:24:18 Maria Peevey OC
… more who you were and…

01:24:18 Dr. Laura Berman VO/OC
Yes, which speaks to the need to get married later, because I think the more you know about yourself, the more you know when the right person…

01:24:25 Dr. Jennifer Berman OC/VO
And make smarter choices and are at a place where you feel comfortable with who you are.

01:24:32 Dr. Laura Berman VO/OC
So tell us about these Simply She nights that you do around the country. What are they?

01:24:37 Maria Peevey OC
We go out and we talk to women about everyday events in their lives. It's a way of relating to each other since we're having the same experiences. And the book has really been a platform for discussing dating issues in particular.

01:24:48 Dr. Laura Berman VO/OC
And dating challenges.

01:24:51 Megan Weinerman VO/OC
They're like modern day Tupperware parties.

01:24:54 Maria Peevey OC
It gives women an opportunity to share and get different things off their chest.

01:24:57 Dr. Laura Berman VO
So give us a sample of what you do.

01:24:58 Maria Peevey VO
Okay. All right.

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Berman & Berman

… dated, and she's known him for a very long time. And she tried to be attracted to him but she never could. Even though he had all these other great qualities and…

01:25:16 Dr. Jennifer Berman VO
Did he have two lungs, though?

01:25:18 Maria Peevey OC
He had two lungs. Thank you for that.

01:25:18 Megan Weinerman OC
Yes, he had two lungs. But at least you got to find out about a lot of great restaurants and very far away places outside of the city limits…

01:25:26 Maria Peevey VO
Exactly.

01:25:26 Megan Weinerman VO/OC
… and very darkly lit. So Maria, let's share.

01:25:29 Maria Peevey OC/VO
Okay. Here's a little bit about great personality guy. You want to be attracted to…

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Berman & Berman

… him, but you're not, and that's putting it mildly. He's smart, interesting and he thinks you're wonderful, but you just can't imagine him naked, although you keep trying. And after a while, he just assumes you like really dark restaurants. You even drink extra at dinner and lecture yourself about beauty within, but when your friends accidentally see you together you flash them a look that screams…

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Berman & Berman

… "Please don't think that I'm with him." Then you introduce him as your…

01:26:03 Megan Weinerman OC
Friend.

01:26:03 Maria Peevey OC
You feel so shallow. Why can't you just get over it? But when he stops calling, you become jealous. After all, you were supposed to dump him. Now he's attractive.

01:26:18 Dr. Laura Berman OC
We know lots of…

01:26:19 Maria Peevey OC
Have you ever gone out with him?

01:26:19 Dr. Jennifer Berman OC
Can anyone here relate to that?

01:26:20 Audience VO
Yeah.

01:26:22 Maria Peevey VO/OC
Okay. Well, this is the classic, the "It's not you, it's me," guy.

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Berman & Berman

He's the non-committal. I know we've all gone out with him before. He's the one that usually breaks your heart and kind of makes you confused for a while that you actually are a quality human being, which we all are. But we went out for a long time and never committed. And he came back from a trip and we met for dinner and I finally thought he was ready to tell me he loved me. And he reached over and took my hand, quote, unquote, "Maria, I'd love to stay but I got to go." And I thought well, that pretty much sums it all up.

01:26:59 Megan Weinerman OC
That summed up the whole relationship. So now we're gonna share.

01:27:02 Maria Peevey OC
Share.

01:27:02 Megan Weinerman OC/VO
You can't…

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Berman & Berman

… he can't commit to you or to a relationship or to a job with a desk. He's tried, but he just can't. But why not? You two get along so well when you're not fighting about how he won't commit. And what's he doing with all his precious time that he can't spend any of it with you? But just as you're hating him, he calls you for a date and you love him again. So what if it's last minute. That's why he's so exciting. He's unavailable. But he does care about you. As a matter of fact, he thinks you two are friends. Friends who sleep together. And that makes you his best friend of all.

01:27:41 Dr. Laura Berman OC/VO
Does anyone in our audience have a boyfriend story or a… How about here. What's your name?

01:27:46 Sandra VO/OC
Sandra. And I was at the mall with a guy who was totally gorgeous. He had a great aura, but he was a total status symbol jerk. I mean like he was more in the mirror than I was. He cared more about his hair and his outfit, what cars he was driving and the way he looked and how he looked. And it was almost like I was just a little trophy. So I figured, well, if you want that, then just have a little mirror. And I gave him a gift. I gave him a little pocket mirror. And that was it.

01:28:13 Dr. Laura Berman OC
Which one is that?

01:28:15 Maria Peevey VO
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Berman & Berman

"Everything I say is fascinating" guy.

01:28:20 Dr. Laura Berman VO/OC
Everything I say is fascinating guy. Right. How about up here. What's your name?

01:28:24 Rosiah VO/OC
Rosiah. I always meet those men that are way too old for me. Head full of gray hair. Think I'm like the wonderful thing in the world. And it's always like a sex, sex, sex thing. They just want a nice, pretty girl to flaunt on their shoulder. Already been married. Already been through everything. No flowers, no dates, no candy. Just… they just want a nice, pretty girl and they're way too old, like 40-something-plus.

01:28:46 Maria Peevey VO
It's the…

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Berman & Berman

… "But he isn't my father" guy.

01:28:50 Dr. Jennifer Berman VO
He's in there.

01:28:50 Dr. Laura Berman VO
He isn't my father, right.

01:28:51 Maria Peevey OC
We know. We've been there.

01:28:53 Dr. Jennifer Berman VO/OC
This is really highlighting the fact that yes, it is important for us to try and have babies for our fertility, but you know you got to sift through a lot of losers.

01:29:02 Megan Weinerman OC
Be nice if you had the right guy to have them with.

01:29:04 Dr. Laura Berman VO/OC
But you have to have the right, if you wanna, if you want to have a baby with someone else, you know you got to find the guy first. And that's the most important thing if that's the choice that you're making.

01:29:13 Dr. Jennifer Berman OC/VO
And you shed some humor on it and you've also made careers out of it. Our misery.

01:29:19 Maria Peevey OC
Yeah. The bottom line is that there's a little bit of Mr. Right in every single one…

01:29:21 Dr. Laura Berman VO
Yeah.

01:29:22 Maria Peevey OC
…of these guys, or else we wouldn't have gone out with them to begin with.

01:29:24 Dr. Laura Berman OC
Yeah. They all have endearing qualities, but…

01:29:26 Maria Peevey VO
But they just weren't the one.

01:29:27 Dr. Laura Berman VO
Right.

01:29:28 Maria Peevey OC
So he's out there for all of us.

01:29:30 Dr. Jennifer Berman VO/OC
Megan and Maria, we hope you stay with us in our audience when we take our questions.

01:29:34 Dr. Laura Berman OC
Right. And up next, babies and career, can you have it all? Our celebrity mom, Dorothy Lucey, shares her…

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Berman & Berman

… story.

01:29:41 Male Voice #1 VO
She'll never reveal her sources.

01:29:44 Dorothy Lucey VO/OC
This will be the biggest scandal since Access fired what's her name. Thanks for the scoop, honey.

01:29:48 Nash OC
Bye, Mommy. I love you.

01:29:52 Dr. Jennifer Berman OC
When Berman & Berman returns. We'll be right back.

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Berman & Berman 40 Two-thirds of women after this age cannot get pregnant naturally

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Berman & Berman For Women Only

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